Following on the countdown from Wednesday’s post about funny one liner jokes from the Edinburgh Festival 2010 here is the official top 5 according to TV channel Dave. Tim Vine beat out Ray Green and Emo Philips for the top spot, so congratulations to him!

5. As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog. (Gary Delaney)

4.  I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say “bought” – I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid. (*Jack Whitehall)

3. I picked up a hitch hiker. You gotta when you hit them. (Emo Philips)

2. I’m currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone. (David Gibson as Ray Green)

1. I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again. (Tim Vine)

I hope you chuckled a little, even if you missed the festival itself.

Dan the man.

Tim Vine wins best joke award at Edinburgh Festival

Tim Vine wins best joke award at Edinburgh Festival

Here are some other posts you may find amusing: