“Colemanballs” is a term coined by Private Eye magazine to describe verbal gaffes made by sports commentators. It comes from the surname of retired BBC broadcaster David Coleman and the suffix -balls, as in to balls up. Here are a few Colemanballs to whet your appetite.

The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott’s breath away…”My word,” he said. “Look at that magnificent erection.”

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: “They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions.”

USPGA Commentator – “One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them…. Oh my god! What have I just said?”

David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics – “And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.”

Metro Radio – “Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.”

Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 – “Ah, isn’t that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.”

Ted Walsh, horse racing commentator – “This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.”

New Zealand rugby commentator – “Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.”

Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator – “And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!”

Lastly, a non sports one: Chris Tarrant discussing the first Who Wants to be a Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: “She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night.”

Hope you enjoyed that first batch, let me know if you fancy some mor Colemanballs in the future.

Dan the man.

Joke entry

Joke entry

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